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I was reading my past blogs and have come to this realization: when i feel sad, i like to write. I’m like Ernest Hemingway minus the pistol. I have been thinking I want to go on antidepressants. But I’m nervous. I hate being medicated. And honestly, I don’t know how i could go about that. I don’t know if I want my mom to know but I really think I need them. I don’t know. And yes, I did google “symptoms of depression”. I just don’t know if I’m depressed or actually sad at this moment. But the majority of the time, I think I feel like this. I don’t know. I just want help. I want to feel happy all the time again.